


Undoing

by mushembra



Series: Nathan 'The Brazen Bull' Cunningham [2]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Brotherhood of Steel - Freeform, Danse is going to prove him wrong, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Light Dom/sub, Lust, M/M, Mild Smut, Nathan and Danse really want each other, Nathan thinks it's wrong, Self-Hatred, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, physical attraction, sexual desire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-05-30 21:04:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6440581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mushembra/pseuds/mushembra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Knight Nathan Cunningham and Paladin Danse have both felt an ever increasing sexual desire for one another, captivated and yearning to be touched.<br/>Cunningham, however, can't shake the spoon-fed lies of hate and wishes nothing more than to be able to bury his longing for his CO.<br/>Danse is let in to the world of self-hate, and is out to show the Knight there is nothing sinful about his desires.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Undoing

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, so this was a tricky one for me. One, I get really worked up writing anything smut related. Two, I'm of the female sex, so don't know how the male body works and I'm awkward with all that garbage. And three, I had to tumble over in my head how to characterize Danse as a lover in bed.
> 
> I personally think, being the soldier and hardened field officer that he is, he'd be dominant in bed, and if given the chance with his lover to explore kinks, he'd thoroughly enjoy dom/sub play. But also, for all of the rough fun he likes to have, he knows how important aftercare is, and takes very good care of his submissives. 
> 
> I also headcannon he's had a lot of sexual encounters with other men, but it was simply for sexual pleasure and to relieve some tension. But there's something about Nathan that's just very special and different for him.
> 
> I would love to take kink prompts from people if they want to see certain sexual situations with these two. It could be at any point in their relationship, or in the game. Just send me a comment/message, whatever, and we can discuss your idea!
> 
> Just know there are certain kinks I WON'T do a prompt for, but I'm preeeetty open to writing a LOT of things, so don't be shy to ask!
> 
> This is like my second remotely sexual fic ever so...be gentle ; - ;

There were some days when Paladin Danse was rather grateful that he wore his armor just about at all times, and today was one of those days. Though, the reason wasn't necessarily always for the sake of combat. It was a relief to be back on the Prydwen. It’s been far too long, and to be aboard this magnificent vessel once more made him feel like he was finally home again. In all honesty, he didn’t think his squad would even make it long enough for reinforcements to arrive, and it’s very likely Gladius wouldn’t have, if it weren’t for their newest Initiate, Cunningham. Well, he should say Knight now, since Elder Maxson promoted him for his astounding service thus far. The news made Danse swell with pride, being the new Knight's sponsor, and again he was glad to have pegged him as an excellent candidate for the Brotherhood. With a new soldier with such experience in their ranks, the Brotherhood of Steel’s assault against the Institute may very well bear positive results.

For now, preparing, recon missions, and adding to their weapons arsenal was the primary goal. The Institute was an enigma, and no one knew exactly how to find it, let alone access it. Cunningham was tasked to be the Elder’s eyes and ears in the Commonwealth, since he knew the general lay of the land best having lived here before the war, and Danse was all too happy to watch his six in the dangerous wasteland. But the both of them, given their rigorous schedule over the last couple of weeks, needed a little down time, and the Paladin didn’t complain when the soldier requested they take a short period of leave on the Prydwen for a bit of a breather. Cunningham needed to learn the layout and workings of the Prydwen anyway, and it gave Danse time to catch up with his fellow brothers and sisters. Well, if he could stop focusing so much of his time on the fledgling Knight in his command.

Cunningham was currently bent over a weapons workbench, modifying his assault rifle and super sledge, the weapons he favored the most in a fight. Every weapon and piece of armor in his possession was treated with such care, and it had Danse admiring his dedication for preparedness. Maintenance was important, but there weren’t a lot of soldiers who were willing to give up their own personal time to work on their equipment. That usually fell onto Proctor Ingram, or the other soldiers trained in mechanics or engineering. It was lazy and a sad shame, and thankfully, Cunningham wasn’t that sort of soldier. He was hard-working, treated his superiors with the utmost respect, and already managed to catch Maxson’s eye as a man with a lot of potential. If the Knight played his cards right, he could all too easily rise through the ranks and better the Brotherhood in ways Danse was more than excited to see. However, Cunningham’s potential as a soldier was the furthest thing on the Paladin’s mind while he watched him work with such concentration on his gear.

Since Danse met Cunningham, he found himself rather attracted to the middle-aged man. Such primal and human feelings or interests were something he usually found easy to shove aside, until the soldier charged in and saved his life. It was infuriating, really. He was captivated by everything the Knight did, whether it be investing himself in technical research, or modifying his equipment (hell, especially when he did that). Back at the police station, Cunningham had previously worn a set Brotherhood Fatigue’s he managed to find when he joined, which were difficult to strip down to more comfortable layers when he was working. So he had simply resigned to rolling up the sleeves to help stave off the heat. Now that he was issued a proper uniform to wear beneath his Power Armor, the man took to rolling down the jumpsuit and tying up the sleeves, leaving his lean torso exposed and generally glistening with sweat. Trying not to stare was hard, and Danse’s attempts to look away were usually unsuccessful. Never before had another human being affected him in such a way, and honestly, it concerned Danse. He didn’t want to put either of them in a compromising situation.

Cunningham grunted, working on the hydraulics powering the legs of his armor, namely the one leg that Ingram didn’t have time to work with properly. He was slicked in sweat, oil, and good god it left Danse breathless. Not for the first time since he met the soldier, his cock pressed tightly against the firm barrier of his Power Armor, begging to be let free. It was a frustrating feeling, unable to touch or readjust himself, and no amount of fidgeting helped ease the ache in his groin. Jesus, it was damn near unbearable. He’s never been so utterly distracted by the sight of someone’s body before. Sure, he’s felt many attractions, but never enough to drive him absolutely mad. His fellow brothers always talk such nonsense about ‘pootang’ or how they ‘got that ass’ when they have some down time or are out on leave, and Danse never quite understood the point. The Brotherhood had always been his priority, and no one had ever managed to weasel their way up in importance to match that. Until Cunningham. Until he learned what true lust was. Until he learned what it felt like to desire so badly, not just for someone’s body, but to have them so near and dear to his heart. Good god he just wanted to take the Knight from behind, fucking him senseless against the workbench...

No! No, such fraternization was out of the question. He couldn’t, and wouldn’t, dare. Being Cunningham’s sponsor, such behavior could be the end of both of their careers in the Brotherhood. He couldn’t do that to the Knight for the sake of his lustful desires. He needed to get this under control. But lord was it hard. Cunningham didn’t even know the Paladin was watching, so focused on the Power Armor he so proudly earned. Danse’s cock throbbed against the interior of his armor, pleading for attention, and if it weren’t for his military bearing and restraint, he would have allowed a small whimper to escape his lips. Why? Why now? Why with the Knight in his command? This was wrong. So very wrong. He made a feeble attempt at grinding his cock against the interior of the Power Armor, but the regulators within kept him from moving around enough. He needed friction. This was agonizing. Why did Cunningham make him feel like this?

Knight Cunningham let a long sigh escape his lips, finally finished with his modifications, proud of his work as evidenced by the wide smile on his face.

“Look at you, you beauty. _Nothing_ is going to stand in the way of the Brotherhood at this rate! Ad Victorium!”

Paladin Danse could feel his body heat and tremble at the exclaimed battle cry, face flushed, body yearning for that which he shouldn’t be yearning for. Cunningham was a Knight under his command, and this was highly inappropriate. He shouldn’t have a desire to do these sorts of this with him. Their interactions were to remain strictly professional, and yet there was some part of Danse that wanted to push this desire further. He wanted to take Cunningham. He wanted to pin him down. He wanted to own him. He wanted the Knight under his mercy. Oh christ, this was wrong. If Maxson were to find out, he could only imagine the punishment that would be enforced upon the both of them. Cunningham had expressed before that he depended on the Brotherhood as a means of stability in a world gone wrong, and Danse refused to be the one to steal that away from him. And yet…

“I hadn’t realized you were so experienced in arms and armor maintenance. Outstanding.”

Cunningham jolted in surprise, whipping around to face the Paladin. When he realized Danse must have been watching him for some time, he felt completely vulnerable and flustered by being observed, and yet had some sense of pride that his commanding officer thought highly of his skills. His cock pressed against the fabric of his uniform, body becoming tense with the abruptly uncomfortable situation. This is one of the many times when he wanted to duck away and hide. He kept his body turned ever so slightly away from Danse in a pathetic attempt at obscuring his erection from view. His lust and desire, however, were leaving him rather fevered, and he had the urge to hump against the workbench, body trembling with his own need, unaware the Paladin was battling the same need. He’s denied himself this release so many times for so long, however, Cunningham was finding it much harder to ignore it. Was it hot in here? Fucking christ he was sweating bullets.

“I uh...I used to do maintenance work for the other soldiers in my squadron. Kind of a uh...good way to relax. Hell, I even stripped and cleaned their guns in the field just to calm my nerves sometimes.”

Cunningham sure could use something to calm his nerves now, actually.

_I heard the new sergeant is a 'confirmed bachelor'._

_Yeah, just what we need, a fag in our midst._

_Can't trust him to do anything right._

The haunting words of his comrades started echoing through his head, and he felt as if he had been kicked in the gut. He hated how familiar this pain was. A sadness came to Cunningham’s face as he turned back to the workbench, shaky hands shoving tools into drawers to clean the space up. That and he was trying to give himself a means of distraction. He wasn’t fooling Danse, however. He has seen this sadness many times before, triggered when certain topics were brought up in conversation. Whether it was discussions about his time in the army, about his family life, or about his relationship with his life (this one being a particularly touchy subject), there was a pain the man simply couldn’t hide from Danse, no matter how hard he tried. He had often wondered what was on the Knight’s mind, but hadn’t gotten up the courage to talk to him about it. That needed to change. As Cunningham’s CO, it was his responsibility to make sure he was mission ready at all times, physically and mentally.

“Um, Knight Cunningham, I…”

Paladin Danse shifted nervously, chewing at his lip for an unsure moment before resolving to do what he could to get to the bottom of this. Because as much as it was difficult for him to admit to himself, there was more motivation to his concern for Cunningham than simply being his commanding officer. He was a man who gave his all for everyone else and hid deep his fears and pain. He would never admit on his own that he needed help, so Danse had to work up the courage to coax it out of him.

“Give me a moment to rack up my Power Armor, then I’d like to speak to you in my quarters.”

Cunningham seemed rather alarmed, eyes wide in questioning as he turned his head to look back to Danse, who offered a reassuring if shy smile.

“You’re not in any trouble, Knight. It’s just...I have an inquiry of a rather personal nature and I thought it’d uh...be best to take the conversation somewhere a little more private.”

Somewhere private, with Danse. That’s not exactly what he needed right now, and yet at the same time his yearnings were piqued by the idea of having the Paladin somewhere out of the public eye, all to himself. Cunningham wasn’t sure this was such a good idea though, but before he could give it a second thought or protest, he was being led away to Danse’s quarters, distracted by how his ass looked in that tight jumpsuit. The Knight’s face started burning a bright shade of red, releasing a shuddering breath as his cock throbbed eagerly. He needed to get out of this. This was setting up to be an undesirable situation. He couldn’t go down this road. He couldn’t throw his future in the Brotherhood away for the sake of such primal desire. He had to control this.

Cunningham was thankful that the Paladin’s quarters were at the far end of the Prydwen, in an area that didn’t see a whole lot of traffic, and Danse was thinking the same thing. Another thing he was thankful for was that his door locked, and he was the only one who had the key. No awkward interruptions. He’d hate to be having such an intimate discussion with the Knight, only to be dropped in on by some Initiate whose business, in all honesty, could wait for a more appropriate time to bother him. He opened the door for Cunningham, inviting him in before before shutting the door behind them, making sure it was secure. The Knight fidgeted on the spot, eyes unfocused and dropped down to the floor. This was a really bad idea. Danse could sense the tension in the air, brows furrowing in concern.

“Cunningham, something is distressing you, and I wanted to make sure you knew that uh...if you needed someone to talk to about...whatever it is...as your CO I--”

Danse didn’t have time to finish his sentence. Before he could react, he found himself pressed up against a wall with fevered lips pressing against his own. He was still as a statue as Cunningham clutched desperately at the front of his jumpsuit, pressing with such need against him. He wasn’t sure what he should do. A big part of him wanted to return the kiss, itching with such a longing for physical contact. But the soldier within him reiterated that such fraternization was dangerous. He couldn’t. He shouldn’t. His lack of action had the Knight recoiling away, as if burned, such a look of guilt and self-loathing on his face. Despite that, he could easily see the man’s erection through his uniform. He’d wanted to kiss the Paladin, just as much as Danse enjoyed (at least he was sure he did) the surprising kiss. And yet…

“No. No, no, no, I...I’m so sorry I...I shouldn’t have...fuck... _FUCK_!”

Cunningham was now tugging at his short hair, berating himself under his breath. This conversation, or lack thereof, was not going as Danse had hoped. After a moment more of stunned silence, he took a step towards the Knight, the look of concern deepening on his face. He was worried about pushing Cunningham into another break, his mind still raw from the meltdown he had not too long ago.

“Cunningham. Hey. Hey look at me. You...I...w-well that is to say…”

What was he going to say? The words were drying up again.

“Although...that wasn’t entirely of good conduct, considering I’m your commanding officer, but I...can’t say I didn’t...enjoy...that…”

In fact, he had enjoyed it greatly. The words, however, didn’t have the comforting effect Danse had hoped for. Instead, a look of disgust came to Cunningham’s face, an angry scoff escaping his lips.

“Neither of us were supposed to enjoy that. It’s...sinful. It’s _wrong_. It makes us weak. As soldiers, we’re supposed to be a vision of strength for the people we serve for. Give them hope. How can we do that if we give in to faggot desires? We’re supposed to find wives, have children, be protectors. We...w-we’re…”

So that’s what this was about. Danse had to say such self-hateful thinking about something so insignificant was unusual in the wasteland of today. There wasn’t a lot of hatred for having relations with someone of the same gender these days. That sort of prejudice was usually reserved for those who willingly entered relationships with persons of a non-human persuasion. But in a world where social standing and proper conduct were of utmost importance, it seems that to even entertain the idea of such a relationship was taboo. This bombshell offered Danse an insight look into Cunningham’s past, pieces coming together that weren’t there before, and he realized more and more that maybe the ‘idyllic’ life of the world before the bombs fell wasn’t so ideal for everyone.

Danse, with much more confidence now, moved towards his bed, sitting down before patting at a space beside him.

“Cunning--Nathan. Please, sit.”

Nathan looked up with surprise at the Paladin, his first name sounding so unusual, and yet tender coming from the man’s mouth. He could listen to Danse talk for hours, about anything and everything. He moved to sit beside him timidly, laying his hands awkwardly in his lap to hide the semi-erection that surely was already noticed by now, and yet the shame was too much. He wanted to run and hide. Danse could see that, and a pain tugged at his heart. This was a man who has been indoctrinated, that much was becoming clear. Some sort of hateful lie was drilled into his head for many years, maybe his entire life, and the notion disgusted him. There was a new desire within Danse, a desire to undo all of that hate, all of the wrongs committed against this kind and wonderful man. Someone like Nathan didn’t deserve this.

“There is nothing wrong with...having a physical or emotional attraction to someone of the same sex. There is so much in the wasteland that already brings great pain and...could steal away everything you hold dear, make happiness such a rare thing that you can’t see it in the dark corners of your grim life. So...so if someone can find happiness and support in someone who is the same sex...why take that away from them? The...social customs you are used to...they don’t necessarily all apply anymore. So...this? What you’re feeling...there’s nothing wrong, or sinful, or unnatural about it…”

Danse allowed an unsure hand to rest on Nathan’s thigh, stroking it with his thumb in reassurance. Nathan, however, didn’t look so certain, though a small smile came to his face, even if it was a little sad. He’s been spoon-fed this garbage for so long, it would take time to undo all of that hate. But he could heal, with a little care and nurturing. Danse wanted to do that, be that person. He wanted to show the Knight the way to a better life, a life of fulfillment and peace, even amidst the chaos.

“Nathan, you’re a better man than you give yourself credit for. I’m...honored...to be your commanding officer...and your friend…”

The two men now gave each other a long, silent look, drawing strength from each other, each asking that silent question, that permission to give in to their desire again. This time, Danse moved first. His hand came to cup Nathan’s shaven cheek, and with only a little hesitance, he pressed his lips against Nathan’s once more. The kiss started out tender, the Paladin leading and encouraging, trying to coax the shyness out of his Knight. His patience was rewarded, Nathan pressing more enthusiastically into the kiss. The heat started flaring up between them again, hands roaming over muscled arms and backs. The men were both touch starved, needing this contact, needing each other, needing a reprieve from how hard they’ve been pushing themselves. It didn’t matter that military protocol says this is wrong. Right now, they were in a sanctuary, hidden away in their own little world.

A low growl rumbled deep within Danse’s chest, charged with lust and testosterone. He wanted to take Nathan. He wanted to stake his claim, dominate him, but he managed some measure of restraint in his foggy state. It would scare him away. Given his history, the fact the damaged man was allowing Danse to touch him was a good small step forward. No, what he needed right now was to be shown that this was just as natural, not something to shove away in shame. He reached between Nathan’s legs, pressing his hand against his erection, giving it a few firm rubs. The man whimpered against Danse’s lips, body trembling against the touch. He wanted this. He wanted this touch, and yet there was still that nagging hate and fear trying so hard to overpower his thoughts.

“Danse I...I want...is this...a-ah...ok? I mean we...you and I we...we shouldn’t…”

“Ssshhh, I won’t let anything happen to you. I’ve got you, Nathan. Lay back.”

Nathan complied, laying back on the bed, the larger man climbing on top of him. Danse easily straddled his hips, allowing his own erection to rub up momentarily against Nathan’s, both men shuddering in growing ecstasy. The Paladin would take care of him, and that was a promise. In this room, in his hands, he was safe. Still, Danse gave a look of questioning to the trembling form beneath him, hands now roaming up his bare sides, nails gently grazing his flesh. There was a mild look of panic in Nathan’s eyes, but the Paladin’s confidence was contagious, and it took but a moment for him to nod his consent.

“Don’t worry, we won’t go too far with this. I just...want you to see...the world and your life won’t end just because you have these...feelings towards men.”

Danse kept himself from saying towards me, and yet just the prospect that Nathan’s desire could be held solely for him was thrilling. He’s never captivated anyone so deeply. It’s always been a good fucking, then back to business as usual. But this man...with him, maybe it could actually be different, if Danse could let down those walls and open himself up to trust. The light graze of the Paladin’s trailing nails was really starting to stir Nathan up. He bucked his hips off the bed, searching desperately for a source of friction to ease the ache. Danse denied him, pushing his weight against the man’s thighs to keep him from moving around too much. A playful and frustrated whimper escaped his lips, and boy was it amusing.

“Now, now. All in due time. I want you to enjoy this. This isn’t something to rush or be disgusted with.”

Danse now took the opportunity to marvel the body beneath him, always having to do so from a distance, and my was it marvelous. Nathan’s body was tanned and nicely toned, though his muscles weren’t quite as developed as his own. Scars cut deep along the expanse of skin, painting a story of all he’s suffered in his life, and all of the sacrifices he was willing to make. Danse’s rough fingers traced along the planes of his muscles, running along each and every scar, as if to read them like a page in a book. He was rewarded with a jerk of Nathan’s hips, soft gasps escaping his lips. The Knight reached around to Danse’s rear, daring to allow himself to firmly grope that toned, round ass. Danse felt his cock throb, letting a breath seethe through his teeth.

“Don’t think I didn’t catch you eyeing it, Nathan. You’re not as sly as you think you are, not when it comes to me.”

“C-Caught on to that, did y--AH!”

Nathan was suddenly grasped by a fierce sting of pleasure, one of his nipples being twisted in warm fingers. Danse played teasingly at the perky buds, leaning down to nuzzle his scruffy face against the other man’s neck. He smelled of sweat and oil, a scent that could make any normal person cringe, but it was such a welcome thing to someone like Danse. It smelled like home. He let his tongue glide along the man’s neck for a moment before suckling and kissing at the tender skin. He could feel Nathan groaning and writhing like mad beneath him, edging on release and sweet relief. The sight was enough to get him to that point as well, it having been so long since he’s taken part in such pleasures.

Danse continued to tease at the man’s neck, reaching the very edge of his self-control. They would have plenty of time in the future to explore each other's likes, dislikes, fetishes, what gets each other really going. He could lose that restraint then. But this moment wasn’t about him, it was about Nathan, showing him something wonderful and new, gaining his trust, undoing the misconceptions. Danse moved up once more to lock lips with the Knight, a hand holding his hips steady as he pressed his erection against the other man’s, grinding, the ache begging for stimulation. A whimper against his lips, and Nathan followed his lead, humping up against his groin. Both men moved in sync with each other, kissing feverishly, hot pants and moans filling the space between them.

“Danse...D...I...I c-can’t...I…”

“It’s...ok…”

Danse took a handful of Nathan’s hair, jerking his head back ever so slightly as a display of dominance. The Knight gave a small wince, but if anything he looked absolutely subdued, yet willing, and their eyes locked together for a short moment before Danse’s deep voice whispered against his ear.

“Cum for me, sweetheart.”

Danse pressed his erection against Nathan’s, and finally, he allowed the Knight to come undone. Nathan let out a series of desperate whines and yelps, hips bucking up high in the air. He pulsated through his orgasm, rubbing roughly against Danse’s cock, plunging the man into his own wave of euphoria. The Paladin found himself accidentally biting down into Nathan’s shoulder to keep from bellowing out too loudly, but he was a good sport and endured the pain (and if he was being honest with himself, he was quite a sucker for pain). He rode out the climax, body trembling and sweating profusely beneath the bodysuit clinging to his body. Before absolute relief could wash over him and leave him boneless, Danse unzipped the uniform down to his stomach, slipped his arms out, then he collapsed beside Nathan, heaving in deep breaths. Christ, he hadn’t felt such release in such a long time, and after the rough last couple of weeks he’s had in the Commonwealth, this is just what he needed.

Once a calm settled over the men, Nathan’s uncertainties returned as he glanced over at the man lying beside him. Danse’s eyes were closed, a soft smile lighting up his face. He really was quite handsome when he smiled. Such a shame he didn’t do it more often. The Knight figured now that they were finished with their little rendezvous, it was high time he left to clean up and collect himself, and allow Danse to do the same. But he didn’t want to leave. He didn’t want to leave the comfortable confines of this room, not yet. He wanted just a little more time with the man who had given him hope, who was opening his eyes to a life he never thought would be possible. When he walked out of the vault, all he wanted to do was find his son. He never dreamed of finding acceptance and a new life worth living.

“I...I suppose...I uh...that...that was…”

Now it was Nathan’s turn to fumble over his words. He didn’t want to make this whole situation more awkward than it already was, so he thought it best to just get on outta there. He made to get up, feeling foggy and in a weird space in his head, body almost unwilling to obey his commands. Of course, he didn’t really make it far, because Danse easily reached a strong arm out to pull the man back down, holding the Knight close and tight.

“You’re not going anywhere, Nathan. I know you’re...new to this, but aftercare is important. Until I know you’re ok, and cleaned up, you’re going to stay right here with me, alright?”

Nathan was stunned by the show of tenderness from Danse, yet he was oh so grateful for it. A warm touch, affection, it was so unusual, yet it’s just what he wanted, just what he needed, and the Paladin knew that.

“Let me take care of you, Nathan.”

The Knight let out an appreciative hum, relaxing back into Danse’s arms. For once, the self-hatred didn’t nag at the corners of his mind, and for once he actually believed what he was being told. He actually believed Danse cared, and believed it would be alright. The feeling was mutual for the Paladin, and in that moment, in each other’s arm, they knew they could take on the Commonwealth so long as they had each other’s backs.

  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
